Time: Yesterday, 11:00am to 10pm
Place: Home, outdoors, vetmobile
Events were as follows: All but baby woke up v. late, after staying up most of the night watching The Godfather. Baby chose to wake up earlier than husband, wife, dog, cat, etc.
Baby peed in several places, mostly outside of diaper. Dog peed on floor. Cat peed in box. Wife did not pee. Husband considered peeing in solidarity, but opted not to.
Day started well enough, with discussion of compost bin creation. Discussion ended when husband made light of serious topic, refused to acknowledge insensitivity, setting off situation that had been brewing for most of the morning. Strong words resulted. 
1.5 hours of silent frustration later, husband began to gather animals for routine vaccinations . Dog, while running from husband, ripped paw off, resulting in massive hemorrhaging and minor panic on behalf of husband. Wife, in classic “competent TV wife” mode , called vet, suggested taking bleeding dog to routine vaccination. Husband agreed, acquiesced . Wife drove while baby screamed in seat and husband clutched trembling dog . Husband forgot it was December, stood in line for 30 minutes in v. cold weather in what was essentially a blood-covered undershirt. Vet saved day with nail clippers, compassion.
Husband returned home, put dog in crate after following vet’s orders . Learned shortly that towel selected to make crate homier for dog, which in the course of events ended up covered in dog nail blood, was actually one of only two expensive towels owned by household.
Rest of day continued thusly. Today was better. 
 Worth it.
 Note to worried readers: hugs and kisses were exchanged, but not immediately.
 Croup, bowel cancer, tinnitus
 See: every fat husband/skinny wife sitcom
 In case it is unclear, the initial argument was yet unresolved.
 Put flour on damaged nail, contain dog.
 Thank God.